The Ford Probe is a gloriously dreadful car. Take that statement in. An oxy-moron? You bet. Like bad sex or healthy cake. However, it’s having the last laugh - if you want to get all anal about it.
Forget the dubious name and the build quality woes - The Ford Probe is great fun.
The Probe is one car that Ford would like to forget ever existed- just as we do with healthy cake or bad sex– a face slappingly awful Japanese/Ford combo that looks as weird and as plastic as anything featured on 1980s Doctor Who. Except, this car isn’t from the decade of shoulder pads. Don’t let the pop up headlights and first production date of 1988 fool you – this is as 1990s as the Macarena or the Waif look. And like the Waif look and the Macarena, time hasn’t judged the Probe kindly.
With a name like ‘Probe’, it’s the blue oval at the front that saves it from mockery and gives it the small cult following it enjoys. This is the definition of irony, however, as the car itself is in fact a Mazda. And not one of Mazda’s finest moments, at that.
There was a huge amount expected of the Probe when it was unveiled and thrust onto the market within Britain during 1992. The Capri had been a huge success and was already imprinted in time as a cult piece of engineering; its replacement had the public foaming at the mouth with excitement, especially after Ford and Mazda had merged. Ford’s people pleasing styling mixed with incredible reliability created a deal that benefited everybody. Honda and Rover were getting together and now Ford had Mazda under its wing. West and east mixed and it was magical.
Except, it didn’t last long. Honda and Rover fell out and Ford cut ties with Mazda; but not before the Probe had enjoyed five rocky years on UK markets. Mazda rebadged the Fiesta in this time too, resulting in the rather awkward Mazda 121.
Sales in Britain didn’t hit anywhere near where Ford bigwigs had hoped, down to huge prices and questionable build quality. Panel gaps on certain models were large enough to fit garden ornaments, the ride was deemed harsh and legroom in the back was pitiful if you were over 4ft 8in.
Looking like something out of a Barbie party pack, expensive, christened with a dubious name and offering the build quality of a shredded wheat – it was never going to be a big seller. Between 1992 and 1993, the Probe had £2k taken off its sale price (from £14,800 down to £12,700), which proved that the original asking price of £19,350 was a pipe dream as large as the hoover dam.
Its rivals were cheaper and offered a wider array of engines, which is curious, as out of all its rivals it’s the Probe that has developed the fan clubs and following.
And there is a good reason for that – it’s good fun. Most cars of character are monsters with jittery rides or ferocious fuel consumption or dreadful build quality or comedy handling or huge design flaws or truck like driving experiences or square looks. While the Probe certainly doesn’t look square, it ticks a lot of those boxes. Yet, you forgive it because it shows you a good time.
Every small back road and every motorway is a fantastic experience thanks to the smooth 163bhp V6 or 128bhp straight four paired with a neat gearbox and chuackable handling. And they are cheap, I mean really cheap. £750 secures you a Probe with tax and MoT ready for taking that corner in a rigorous manner and then blasting along the straight. Numbers are thinning and its not very often that you come across one parked on the street, it’s therefore very quickly becoming a very different and special purchase.
And its practical. Lack of rear legroom aside, the boot is a decent size and front passenger comfort is sublime. It’ll fit your golf clubs and your kids, your dog, your weekly shop and your partner all at the same time. No other £750 sports car can do that. Not many £750 cars can do that; certainly not one taxed and MoT’d.
Values are starting to kick-start themselves into life again. If you are tempted, watch for accident damage and ignition problems which plagued these models from new. V6’s often need new timing belts and many have sat around outside - brake discs can rust and exhausts suffer extensively.
So, what’s the verdict? Well, it’s a mixed bag of brilliance and flaw that didn’t sell very well and was, simply, an MX-6 with Ford badging. It has a scary number of design faults but its fun, cheap and practical - all of the things that Fords should be.
Should you buy one? Hell yes – it’s easy to live with and not bank-breakingly expensive to run. They aren’t going to be around forever – enjoy them while you can as what they are: A retro Ford that is gaining status as fast as they are disappearing from UK roads.
A recipe for a fantastic future classic and a gloriously, gloriously bad car that you will seriously fall in love with.